Hey Alissa,
I just thought I’d give you an update of how we’re all doing and ask you a couple of questions as well.
The children seem to be pretty happy with their new home. We’ve been swimming almost every day and pretty much sticking around the house. They’ve all gotten new toys of course and play with them quite a bit especially David and Bennett with their new cars/trucks/light sabers etc. – the energy level has increased quite a bit around our home.
Bennett continues to improve with his potty training and hasn’t regressed at all in fact we’ve got him wearing regular underwear during the day. Bennett has been the most challenging one of the three to make him behave. He’s been biting David and hitting him from time to time as well as throwing big fits when he can’t have his way – like throwing himself in the floor and thrashing around and back talking as well. Of course, the back talking is in Latvian but Kristine Vainovska (whose grandmother is the pastor at Riga 2ndUMC) has been coming over and staying at our home to help us and she understands him perfectly. He’s doing things like when you put him in time out he says something like “you’re going to be in time out” or the other day he actually called me “stupid” in English. He has developed a “healthy” fear of me and when he called me stupid he knew he was in trouble and took off running (I almost laughed). In between these episodes he’s actually pretty good though and plays well and keeps himself occupied. We have to watch him though because he wants to get into everything. Bennett has pretty much enjoyed the foods we’ve been introducing – he pretty much eats most everything. I think all of this is normal but just wanted to see if you had any suggestions about dealing with these things.
David has been surprising in many ways. He’s trying very hard to learn English and is trying to understand the words for every object he encounters. He learns new words every day and his speech is really starting to improve. We noticed when we first arrived and he was trying to pronounce words he almost sounded like he had a hair lip or cleft palette in the way he sounded. However, after the first week, he’s improved greatly and is starting to really sound “American” when he pronounces words now. He still roles the “R” sounds though which is actually pretty cool to hear him to it. He of course plays with Bennett pretty well and we’ve observed him doing his fair share of provoking some of the fights they get into. He doesn’t defend himself against Bennett either – Bennett pretty much pushes/hits/bites/takes things away from David and then David just cries or pouts. Then when we punish Bennett for these things, David tries to comfort him. Go figure. Kristine has been working with him to try and figure out what he knows in terms of school type things like numbers, letters things of that nature – she’s saying that he doesn’t really know any of these things even in Latvian. In looking at his work from the special school he was attending it looks as if they didn’t really work with him on these kinds of things – do you know any more about what his knowledge base is? School starts here the first week in August so we’re trying to understand where he’s at. Kristine has actually been working with all the kids to teach them more English and get them more prepared for attending school. David is really trying hard and is doing well. Kristine was so excited the other day when she brought out the flash cards and initially she was having him look at a picture and asking him in Latvian what the object is then having him repeat in English – the breakthrough was that he started on his own saying the English word and just dropping the Latvian. He’s curious about everything and he too is enjoying new food choices – I gave him a burrito the other day and he loved it.
Anna has been doing good as well. We’ve found out through Kristine that she really knows a lot of English and grammar as well. Kristine is starting to work with her on “conversational” English because she already knows so much of the grammatical rules and words she just needs to know more how to use it to speak. Anna has really gotten attached to Kristine (as have all the kids) and you would too if you knew her – she’s really a sweet person. Sometimes though, Anna will not want to talk in English when Kristine is around so we’ve had to encourage her a little. Anna has discovered video games and movies – she’s been watching a lot of movies and playing video games with Courtney. Courtney has become her new best friend which we were hoping would happen and Courtney has really taken on her role well. Courtney has had a little trouble with “privacy” though and we’ve had to help her and Anna cope with that a little. Courtney’s kind of in that “tweenager” stage where sometimes she is more grown up and other times she’s more like a little kid. Anna has had the most trouble accepting new foods as she won’t try most of the new foods we put in front of her that she’s not familiar with. Anna’s been opening up with Kristine too and telling her some things about her family before she came to the orphanage and how different things are now. One day Kristine was brushing her hair and Anna told her about how she’d never had her hair brushed like that before she came to the orphanage and then started telling about how her birth mom used to drink/smoke and the fighting and yelling that went on in their home. We were a little surprised about this but it seemed normal I guess that she would do this. Like you said she’s a little more complicated than the boys and we’re still trying to figure her out a little. She has really started warming up to me more – I think she trusts me more now than she did when I invited her to go to Riga with me that time. She’s starting to get a feel for what a father is supposed to be like. Anna’s probably been the most complaining/demanding of the three little ones by complaining about the food, the heat (it’s been in mid to upper 90’s with high humidity) and other things – I think basically it’s her way of maintaining a little control and pushing to find her limits which they’ve all been doing. Overall though, Anna seems to be adjusting well and is mostly enjoying new toys, TV, and videos – just not the food (we keep fruits & vegi’s at hand though so she’s getting plenty to eat).
Stephanie & Courtney are both adjusting well too. Courtney’s probably had the most to deal with because she’s sharing her room and I mentioned the privacy stuff. She’s doing well though and loves having the new siblings. Stephanie has the kind of personality that she just goes with the flow so everything’s cool with her and she is practically a grown up anyway and helps out a lot. Both the older girls have had to do some correcting with the little ones as well keeping them out of stuff they’re not supposed to mess with (the boys) and just generally playing with them and helping Georgia and I – the older ones helping the younger ones. Anna, David, & Bennett really like their older sisters and I think they’ve adopted Kristine in that category as well. When we go to church on Sunday’s, the younger ones want to be right with Courtney and Stephanie.
As for me and Georgia, we’re hanging in their as well. This week and last have been kind of hard though because I’ve had to get back to work and the company wanted to send me to 2 weeks of training but they left it up to me and Georgia as to whether we could accommodate that or not – after discussing we decided it would be best for all of us in the long run because of my new role in the company. Georgia’s been really tired though and not sleeping well. She’s a little distressed too because of some of the behavior and other issues we’ve encountered – I told her that was to be expected though and that it’s only been two weeks. From my point of view and being gone from them Mon-Fri last week, I could see a big difference in each of them at the end of the week – more English, more used to rules of the house, saying please/thank you, etc., taking their dishes to the sink – just little things but noticeable differences. I suppose everyone has had to adjust a little. One thing I really like is having sons now and it’s so cool that they are already starting to mimic everything I do and wanting to be just like dad. They’ve even used that term before “just like dad” when they do certain things. Very cool!
Well, I suppose that’s enough “train of thought” kind of writing for now. If you’ve had any similar experiences with your own adopted children, we’d sure be eager to hear about how you dealt with things and what we might expect. I mostly just wanted to give you an update and let you know how things are going – I think about as expected actually. Again, any thoughts you have are appreciated.
We love you and miss you! Say hello to everyone for us!